Last week I was out cycling and I saw a guy pull up at the side of a dual carriageway and get out of his car. I stopped and asked if he was OK. He’d run out of fuel. He proceeded to open his boot and take out a plastic petrol can.

I had a bit of time so I offered to cycle off and get him some fuel, the nearest petrol station being about 2 miles away. He asked if I was sure and I said I’d be much quicker than him and could use the exercise. He passed me some cash and told me to fill the can.

Queuing to buy petrol on a bike was a strange experience, but I got him his fuel and cycled back. I felt good. He felt good. And I’m sure a few people in the petrol queue got a smile out of it too. We don’t need to be the guy in the picture at the top. Much as cyclists dislike them sometimes, we can be drivers’ friends and it will help bring peace and understanding to our roads.

And the longer I am a parent, the more I believe that the best advice is not advice at all, its almost anti-advice.

So I present the sum of my parenting knowledge:

• Unlearn everything. Be prepared to change all that you know or have been told
• You already know more than everyone else about your baby. People offer advice. Weigh it. Add your own thoughts and experience. And then make your own decision.
• Trust your instinct. Again, you know your baby better than anyone else. You’ll know when something is wrong, and when something is right.
• It does get better. Not at any particular point in time. People will say it gets better after 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, or any other specific time in the future. The truth is simply that ‘it will get better’.
• It’s flippin hard work. Seriously. If someone tells you it’s hard work, think what that might be like and treble it…at least!
• Every baby is different. So you can generally ignore anyone that tells you what their baby was like.
• Every parent is different. So you can generally ignore anyone that gives you advice because you’ll do it your own way anyway.
• It is the most amazing thing. Caring for a tiny little person that you made. Introducing them to the world. Introducing the world to them. Staring at their hands thinking ‘I wonder what they’ll do’ and at their feet and thinking ‘I wonder where they will walk’. It’s just incredible. The potential for life, love, work, joy, hope, kindness and so many other things wrapped up in a little person is overwhelming at times.

Maybe it doesn’t sound like it, but I’m actually HUGELY grateful to everyone that’s offered us help, advice, encouragement and prayer in our first few months with Isaac. But the truth is, we’ve listened to and, I hope, respected everyone’s opinions, and we’re doing things our own way.

I’m now about to give in to temptation and actually offer one concrete piece of advice myself. It’s not about feeding, nappies, which buggy to get, or how to get your baby to sleep. No. It’s this thing that people kept telling me early on which I initially found hard to believe but now hold firm to:

Treasure every moment!

Isaac no longer smells of baby. I miss that.

Isaac doesn’t need cuddling to sleep as much. I miss that. It used to be so annoying that he’d only drift off in our arms. Nowadays, I look for times when I can get to hold him for half an hour or so.

Isaac doesn’t mimic us any more. I miss that. For a few weeks he tried to copy the sounds that we were making. Now he just makes whatever sounds he wants to regardless of what were babbling at him.

Isaac doesn’t fit in his baby clothes. He’s in 6-9 months sizes now. He had some nice outfits. We miss that.

Isaac doesn’t poo as often. Bizarrely…I miss that! Change time used to mostly be a fun time. Now it’s infrequent and a chore.

So many things Isaac did, or that we did with him, have already changed or gone. If you have a young baby, (s)he will be different by this time next week. Enjoy what they’re like now, even if it’s difficult and stressful, because they won’t be like it again.

It was not a quick or easy decision, but our old car is fast approaching 100’000 miles, is slowly generating a few faults, and with the arrival of Isaac, is just too small – once the buggy base is in the back of our current car there’s not room for much else. We’re increasingly making trips to see the in-laws down in Devon, and increasingly wanting to offer lifts to other people, sometimes other families who don’t have cars, so wanting a new car wasn’t just about us – it’s about family and friends too.

Yes, I’m into using cycling as transport, but I’m not totally anti-car. Cars have their place. But they should be viewed as a convenience and a privilege, not as a human right.

So we went looking. I suppose I wanted something between a small car and a people carrier, but wasn’t sure if any such thing existed. It turns out there’s a whole world of ‘midi-MPV’s that are just what I was after.

The first one we found was a Toyota Corolla Verso. We were immediately impressed with the space and versatility. Some Internet research showed Toyotas to be reliable and easy to drive, and the Verso to be spoken of very positively – if with a modicum of disdain for its lack of ‘fun’.

The reviews also seemed to imply that the diesel has more like the level of get up and go that a car of this size needs.

We were liked this car from the outset. And we got a very positive impression from the reviews of this vehicle than we got from the reviews of Peugeots and Renaults we saw when looking for a small car a few years ago.

Aside: My favourite review of the Verso said:
- What does the car make the neighbours think? : ‘That my wife is a childminder’
- Why did you buy this car? : ‘Because my wife is a childminder’

We had a choice of three. One we weren’t interested in as it had some visible trim damage and higher mileage. Which left us with a 2.0 diesel – the slightly cheaper of the two and the more efficient car, but older and with twice as many miles on the clock. And a 1.8 petrol, 2008 model with 30,000 miles. It’s less efficient but cheaper to insure.

The diesel sold before we got to make a purchase so we were left with the ’08 petrol.

A quick spin put any fears of it not having enough ‘oomph’ to rest. It’s quite nippy, at least when empty.

We did some other shopping around too, but it was fruitless. This car was ideal and appeared to be a bargain.

I w shocked that our old Peugeot was only valued for trade-in at £200. As I said at the time ‘it’s got £200 worth of tyres on it!’, but it’ll be convenient not to have to make the sale privately, and they gave us a bigger valuation in the end.

So, the deal is done. We pick up on Friday, and will officially own a 5+2 sweater family car. It’s a bit more than we set out to pay, but the car’s age and mileage and versatility means it will last us, hopefully, many years.

Have my cyclist credentials been ruined? Have I self-justified this purchase enough? Or is it just amazing what having a baby does to you?

I had a message from a friend of mine. Let’s call her Amy (names changed for privacy). Amy has a friend not-called Bea and Bea has a 4-year-old daughter, Charlie.  Charlie has recently been diagnosed with Leukaemia.  Charlie has just started chemotherapy and her hair has started to fall out.

Amy knows that my wonderful wife, Sally, is a dab hand with a pair of knitting needles. So Amy asked if Sally could knit a hat for Charlie.

But Sally is mum to our 8-week-old son, and barely has time to make a cup of tea, let alone knit.  It’s very much life-one-handed here at the moment!

So, I put a call out on Twitter.  I have a few creative followers and was pretty sure someone would be up to the challenge.

The response was amazing! I mean, I know things have gone way more viral, but I had a mass of re-tweets, new followers, and, of course, offers of hand-knitted hats.  The first within about two minutes from the generous and creative Jennifer Begg (@livefreerange).

The internet is AMAZING!

Enigmatic AND cool in a robot babygro!

It’s been a while. But with good reason.

If you follow me on Twitter or are friends on Facebook then you will know that we are now a family of three.  Our baby, Isaac, arrived on 1st December and has been our primary occupation for the last 5 weeks.

This post is a bit of an explanation about why you’ve not “seen” much of Isaac.

Sally and I both use social media a lot so you may think that it would be entirely natural for us to keep some detailed online records of the pregnancy, birth (well, not the birth, but the immediate time after), and early days with our boy.

BUT…our interest in social media actually swings us the other way.  We appreciate the highly public, potentially insecure, and increasingly commercial nature of social media and we’ve taken the line that we want Isaac to have a substantial amount of choice about what is published about him online.

We find it embarassing enough when our parents bring out the box of baby photos.  As far as possible we don’t want Isaac to have all his embarrassing newborn and childhood days already online for the world to see.

So, for now, we are not publicly posting lots of photos and videos of him.

It’s a far-from-simple decision because:

• We’ve really enjoyed seeing the children of friends and family of ours grow up through photos and videos, mostly posted on Facebook.
• We’re really very proud of our little boy, he’s a very cute little kid, and we love showing him off.
• We have made some really good friends that we mostly interact with through the medium of social media.

But we also have other friends who’ve taken the more private route and I don’t find we miss what isn’t there.

That’s not entirely the end of the decision though.  We value technology and its ability to store and present information.  So we do have a private space online for close friends and family to keep up to date with Isaac’s latest news and photos.

If you know us well then there are other ways in which you will get to see Isaac as he grows up, if not in person (which, I can tell you, is by FAR the best way).

If you REALLY want to see some photos then drop me a line and we’ll see if we can send some by more private means.

Or, just take my word for it. He’s an amazing little man with a face from Sally’s side of the family and Ross’ big hands and feet.  He has lots of funny facial expressions and a growing vocabulary of little noises.

And we love him to bits.

I cannot tell you what a gaff it’s been to reinstate this light after having our ceiling re-plastered. I think this was the fifth attempt. Failures I recall are:

1. Not cutting a hole for the rose.
2. Running out of arm strength because I was too stupid to remove the glass bowls.
3. Wiring it wrong.
4. Not having long enough screws to reach the joists through the new, thicker plaster layer.

And this wasn’t even the thing that got me electrocuted…that’s a WHOLE other story!!!

Photographically, an unusual angle can turn a relatively simple object into a thing of beauty. Different angles gave different exposures. Here’s some different views:

I have an idea brewing which applies ideas from breast feeding to getting more people cycling. Who's intrigued?

November 8, 2011 5:35 pm via TweetList ProReplyRetweetFavorite

@magicroundabout

Ross Wintle

And…it turns out, several people were intrigued.  So I ought to explain myself in full.

The National Childbirth Trust

Yeah, yeah, you all know, we’re having a baby (real soon!) right.

We decided, after some good feedback from friends and family, to go on the National Childbirth Trust’s ante-natal class.  This is worthy of a post of its own, but in general was very good.

One of the sessions was dedicated to breastfeeding.  We won’t mention the fact that I got to wear lipstick.  We WILL mention the fact that it was run by a knowledgeable woman who obviously cared greatly about the welfare of women and babies at what can be a very stressful time.  She said “if you have any problems, call me any time, we can give you help and I can come around and help you work out what’s going wrong and how you might be able to make things easier” – or words to that effect.

And it’s true. We have her number. We can call. She will help. She reinforced the fact: “call me, I want to help”. The course tutor reinforced the fact “call her, she wants to help”.

What a fantastic service! And she, and the team of breastfeeding counsellors in Swindon (and, I believe, around the country) are 100% voluntary.

So What’s Breastfeeding Got To Do With Cycling?

I was impressed by this. Very impressed. And it got me thinking.  Here’s someone who:

• passionately believes that a particular activity is good
• understands that that activity isn’t always simple/easy
• longs to help others take up and sustain that activity

I’m like that.  I’m like that about cycling.  Many of the regular readers of this blog are like that about cycling too.

And so I find myself thinking, what if we had “Cycling Counsellors”?

What if there were people you could call and ask questions like:

• I’m thinking of buying a bike, what sort of bike should I get?
• How can I easily get from A to B on my bicycle – I don’t know the safest/quickest way
• What simple safety checks should I do to my bike every now and then? How hard are they? Can I do them myself?
• My tyre’s flat/chain’s come off/handlebars wobble/brakes aren’t very good, what should I do?

Why Not?

I mostly had very positive responses to this idea. I think it’s a good one. But I, myself have questions about it, and some people pointed out some useful things.

It’s all online!

There’s masses of books, internet forums, blogs, Twitter accounts, bike shops anyway. Don’t these provide that service?

Yes, to some extent they do. And, in particular, there’s LOADS of good information online.

But despite reading lots of books, articles, blogs, and so on, about birth, parenting, and breastfeeding, Sally and I still found the one-to-one, practical, visual stuff in the NCT course massively valuable. And exploring some of the issues and difficulties with other, real people has been really important.

I think there’s a lot to be said for personal, local knowledge. My experience of riding in London is testimony to this. As is Town Mouse’s trip through Newcastle.

Surely someone else is doing it already?

This is a great question – and one of mine! But I don’t think they are. Councils do personal travel planning, explaining to people their travel options. CTC have local groups, but, from what I understand, they’re mostly about social rides and for already-experienced cyclists (though I’m sure novices would be welcome too). Sustrans have rangers who look after paths, and maintain the national cycle network. And I’ve heard of Bike Buddy things where you can get someone to show you a route for your commute.

But there’s no centrally co-ordinated, trained, recognised means of doing such a thing. Is there?! (Please comment if you know something I don’t).

I’m sure it would be great to get CTC, Sustrans and local councils to take up this idea. But, to my knowledge, no one’s doing it yet.

Is it needed/wanted?

Who would take up such a service? How would they find out about it? Wouldn’t people abuse it as a way to get cheap bike maintenance?

I don’t really know the answers to these questions. It’s just an embryonic idea. It would be great to tie in to personal travel planning projects that councils might be doing and to other local cycle/transport projects that are going on. But…hmm…needs thought.

What are you going to do about it.

Ah, it’s just a flash-in-the-pan idea. I’ll forget about it in a few days time. And besides, I’m having a baby any day now.

I dunno. What do you think? Is there mileage in this? Or is the notion of a nationally co-ordinated team of cycling counsellors a crazy dream?

In similar vein to the last pic, this one shows code. But it’s specific code. This is an email header: the writing on the envelope, the stamp, the ‘return to sender’, that gets you message from sender to recipient.

I’ve been working a lot with emails in the last couple of days, trying to find the best way to decode this complex structure.

The main challenge with this photo: not including any sensitive data!!

I’m seeing a lot of this these days. I’ve seen plenty of attempts at photographing code and I do find something beautiful in it. Not always symmetry, but patterns emerge and individual characters blend together into broader ‘brush strokes’ that appear.

But it’s not just static either: this is the engine room of that increasingly interactive place, the Internet!

The photo? I’ve seen these done with ultra-shallow depth of field, but I quite like it being deeper. It’s not a better effect, just different. The odd patterns created by capturing a screen on a digital camera bring texture too.

Here’s a gallery with another pic:

This is actually from a couple of days ago. I love sun-sets and sun-rises and am mostly of the opinion that they’re not worth photographing. They are beautiful, temporary, unique, ephemeral, and are better enjoyed in the moment. Plus, the photo never does it justice. However, occasionally I still try and capture it. On this particular day I wished I was atop a tall hill and could see for miles, but I tried to make the best of what I had: nice thirds, make a point of the telegraph pole, etc. not bad.